I know the whole of the United Kingdom is currently sub zero, covered with snow and ice... But I can't begin to explain how cold I am, not only can I not stand the heat, I apparently no longer warm up in the cold as I used too.

Oh also I have no heaters in my house.

And it doesn't feel any different from any other "time" does it? No it doesn't!
The question is, are you surprised?
Personally no, not really... Mostly because it shouldn't really, if you stop to think about it people put a lot of importance on things that don't exist.
Time for example, time is not really something that exists so much as something created by man to make you do things. I have written about time travel a lot, but each "time" I have written about said subject it's more about dimensional travel [it's a headache so I wont explain further for now].

So why think that because the change of a date is going to alter everything? It wont as it's perspective! The one thing you can do is work hard for your goals, stand up for you principles, beliefs [as in self belief etc] and hell why not make time to enjoy yourself as well?
Change things you want to because you want too, or don't if you don't want too. Do not make the simple mistake that everyone else will of making a "new years resolution" they're pointless and easily forgotten.
If you keep your focus/resolve [as mentioned earlier] then you wont need to worry about falling on your arse, because even if you do you can get right back up and try again for if its the right thing, you cannot fail!

Good luck to one and all! X

Scene opens to one of the engine rooms on the command ship.
(Ari) “Why are we visiting all the engine rooms?”
(Me) “Because it’s easier to break the ship when you take out off of its engines.”
(Ari) “But you already messed with 5 of them and its only got 6. If the others break it can’t possibly survive with just one.”
(Me) “And if it was one of my ships?”
(Ari) “. . . Ok, I see your point. So what are we doing then? Planting bombs on the power supply? Setting it to overload? Pulling the space distributer cap?”
(Me) “. . . You were talking to Brad back on our ship weren’t you?”
(Ari) “Yeah . . . I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a space distributer cap.”
(Me) “There isn’t, at least as far as I know.”
(Ari) “But he said…”
(Me) “If a space ship was a trans am, he could fix the shit out of it. but as far as actual space mechanics go, he’s just screwing with you.”
(Ari) “That butthole!”
(Me) *laughs* “Come on, let’s get this done before any of these morons realize we shouldn’t be here.”
Scene switches to the bridge on the command ship.
Where Seacrest is watching the monitors and suddenly notices Captain Phoenix walking around.
(Seacrest) “What? Captain Phoenix is here? Why the fuck didn’t you pieces of shit tell me?”
None of the chavs on the bridge goes to answer but it cut off.
(Seacrest) “No, not a word, none of you peons are worthy of speaking in my presence! I’ll deal with this myself!” *gets up and walks off the bridge*
All of the chavs on the bridge wait for him to leave before all yelling “BENDER!” in unison.
Scene switches back to the engine room.
(Seacrest) *over the ships internal com’s* “Captain Phoenix, how wonderful of you to save me the effort…”
(Me) ”. . . Fucksake, we’ve been noticed.”
(Ari) “Want me to kill the security cameras and internal com’s?”
(Me) “Nah. I have a better idea.”
(Seacrest) *over the com’s “Who’d have thought you of all people would show up as I was hunting down Black Santa. Finally after all these years and all the damn times you’ve killed my clones...”
The voice on the com’s changes pitch as if he was in a room full of helium and is also suddenly being broadcast throughout the ship.
(Seacrest) *super high-pitched over the com’s* “Oh how its pain me to . . . wait a minute . . . what’s going on? . . . Oh screw you guys!”
Laughter can be heard throughout the ship. As the monologing wannabe celebrity continues to bitch about sounding like a chipmunk with its nuts in a vice, not once thinking to turn off the com’s.
(Seacrest) *finally makes it to the engine room* “Where the hell are you!” *his voice echoing like a gay smurf all around him*
He looks up just in time to see one of the coolant tanks on the engine assembly start to burst.
All 6 of the ships engines seem to explode like a chain reaction and the ship starts to go down caught in the gravity of some object.
Scene switches to a weapons locker somewhere on the ship.
(Nine) *sitting in the locker* “Is that the signal?”
(Crimson) “. . . That’s as close to a signal as were going to get, just hold on.”
The ship is rocked my turbulence as it enters the atmosphere of a planet, just as Ari and the Captain come sliding into the weapons room.
(Crimson) *picks up Ari and sets her in the weapons locker with Nine* “Captain?”
(Me) “I’m good, just worry about the girls.”
Scene fades with everyone bracing themselves as the ship crashes.

Day 365 Fucksake new years eve!
Ship crashed. Just like I had hoped. Good thing we picked that weapons locker to ride it out in. the whole ship broke apart when it hit and the section we were in was thrown free of the explosion when the reactors powering the busted engines went up. I don’t think anyone studied the crash but us honestly. Fucking Chavs, doing even know how to build a ship to survive a crash. Shit better be the last of Seacrest. Hate that fucker, and who the fuck is Black Santa? Crazy son of a bitch killing alternate reality Santa’s for the publicity or something! Good reddens, now if I could only find the fucking cloning facilities where they keep regrowing that worthless waste of space . . . Should probably turn Crimson’s beacon on so the Black Swan can find us. Then again, we don’t really have communications so…

Scene opens to the bride of the Black Swan.
(Vu) “What the hell? Hey, those guys are retreating.”
(J) “Shit, Phoenix must have had to step up his plans. Call in the Avengers, we need to head to follow these guys.”
(Chelle) “Calls been made, were ready to cloak.”
(Vu) “What? Fuck man why the hell didn’t we just cloak in the first place?”
(J) “Because we were supposed to keep these assholes busy.”
(Vu) “Was that really part of the plan? 20$ says my brother was only saying that shit because he was stalling for time.”
(Chelle) “Phoenix is always stalling for time.”
(Sibene) “We’re picking up a transponder signal?”
(J) “What?”
(Sibene) “Its Crimson, he’s broadcasting a dimensional transponder beacon.”
(Vu) “Well shit! Fuck following these assholes, let’s just dimension jump there and pick Phoenix us, then we can leave and be back in time for the new year’s party!”
The ship dimension jumps, followed by the Avenger squadron. Right off the tip of the command ships escort ships.
(Vu) “Oh fuck me! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”
The Black Swan turns and takes off at high speed just as the 3 heavy cruisers open fire.
(Sibene) *at the helm controls* “Have the Avengers join in formation.”
(Vu) “Fucker should have warned us the command ship had escorts!”
(J) “Stop bitching and get the weapons ready.”
(Chelle) “We should have just assumed the command ship wasn’t alone. Jumping was a stupid idea.”
(Vu) “Why did you suggest it?”
(Chelle) “I didn’t suggest it you drunk bitch! You did!”
(Vu) “Bullshit! I want a stenographer to read the conversation back.”
(Chelle) “Stenographer? Since when do we have fucking useless people sitting around typing everything we say?”
(J) “Fucksake, even Dave Chappelle is over that joke.”
(Vu) “What the fuck are you really trying to say J?”
(J) “Weak sauce, Vu. Weak sauce.”
(Vu) “Bullshit! My sauce is strong bitch!”
(Sibene) “Focus! We still need weapons. Stop screwing around and get to work!”
Her accent flares and her anger and frustration permeate the bridge, instantly snapping everyone to attention like a burning whip inside their brains.
Scene switches to the planet where the command ship crashed.
Just outside of a broken section of the ship that miraculously survived the crash and subsequent explosion.
(Me) *walks out of a busted hallway that just managed to be completely level with the ground* “Hey check it out, it’s snowing.”
(Ari) *walks out into the snow* “Wow and the crash didn’t even melt any of it,” *looks around and even the trees in the area are still covered in snow* “You weren’t kidding, that really was the best place to be in a crash.”
(Nine) “This is amazing. How did we manage to land in the snow?”
(Me) “Pure fucking luck!”
(Nine) “. . .”
(Ari) “See what we mean?”
(Nine) “Yeah.”
(Crimson) “Captain, the Black Swan has jumped into the system, there at the edge of my sensor range, but are too far out to get a com’s signal.”
(Nine) “He can see all the way up in space?”
(Ari) “Yeah, Crimson has sensors and stuff like a ship and he’s like a walking power plant.”
(Me) “We should probably get away from this shit box and head for higher ground.”
A strange energy blast comes out across the top of the ships debris, driving Crimson into the ground.
(Me) *grabs the girls and runs*
(Ari) “Wait, what was that, what about Crimson?”
Blacky squawks loudly, digging her talons into Ari’s backpack strap and partially into her shoulder.
(Ari) “Ouch, Blacky!”
(Nine) “Look, there’s someone back there.”
(Ari) “Captain, captain, its…”
(Me) “I don’t want to think about who it is! Just tell me when to dodge!”
Scene switches to the bridge on the Black Swan.
(Sibene) *still at the helm* “Was that weapons fire down on the planet?”
(J) “How should I know? I’m busy with damage control!”
(Chelle) “I couldn’t tell, there’s too much secondary explosions coming from the wreckage . . . shit and the other cruisers just showed up.”
(J) “Where the fuck is the Arcust?”
A barrage of fire from all of the enemy cruisers narrowly miss the Black Swan as a dimensional portal opens up and 2 ships join the fight.
(Vu) “Is that?”
(J) “Knightstar and Morning Star!
(Captain Thorn) *over vid com’s* “Hey kids! Need a hand?”
(J) “Fuck yes we do!”
The dimensional portal closes as Morning Star makes it through and both mach 12’s launch their fighters and avenger wings.
(Chelle) “Thorn! Where’s the Arcust?”
(Captain Thorn) *over vid com’s* “Not sure, we got a call that that you guys needed help and we found Crimson’s beacon in the system.”
(Chelle) “What? How?”
(Captain Auma) *over vid com’s* “All his pocket dimension stuff, come on J you should have at least figured that out.”
(J) “Shit, yeah, why the fuck didn’t I think of that?”
(Chelle) “What?”
(J) “Crimson’s beacon is in a pocket dimension he’s broadcasting in this dimension and in all the dimensions his internal parts reside in.”
(Captain Auma) *over vid com’s* “Right, that’s the insane beauty of Phoenix’s random crazy ass invention that is the pocket dimension.”
All of the ships are rocked by weapons fire.
(Captain Thorn) *over vid com’s* “Um, we should probably save this shit for later, these guys are tougher than they look.”
(Captain Auma) *over vid com’s* “Right, deploying short barrels, you got the lead Thorn.”
(Captain Thorn) *over vid com’s* “You kids stay back and choose your shots . . . Where the hell is Phoenix anyway?”
(J) “Down on the planet, if you guys can cover for us we’ll swing down and pick him up.”
(Captain Thorn) *over vid com’s* “We’ll see if we can make an opening!”
Scene fades.

Day 365 ~UPDATE~
Hiding in the woods, in the snow and being chased by something that I don’t even want to think about. Ari keeps trying to tell me what it is, but fuck that! My com's signal range can’t get far enough out of the atmosphere from here, and far as I can tell there’s some serious shit going on up there. I think my life sign scanners busted or my sensors in general, not getting any life readings around but ours and I really don’t want to deal with fucking zombies this year. At least not again anyway. Fuck I hate the undead, even the Hanukkah Zombie . . . which I’m not entirely sure is real or just something I saw on Futurama…

Scene opens to the middle of nowhere in the snow down on the planet.
(Ari) “We need to stand and fight that thing.”
(Nine) “Yeah, we can do it!”
(Me) “Neither of you are getting anywhere near that thing.” *checks his cane, the red orb glows faintly* “Shit, almost out of power.”
(Ari) “Where’s your guns?”
(Me) “I’ve got them, but . . .”
(Ari) “But what?”
(Me) “Forgot to reload last time, my pocket dimension clips are empty and I might have 2 rounds left in my revolver after the shoot out with the chav landing party the other day.”
(Ari) “That’s not too bad then, you only need one!”
(Me) “Are you kidding me? That things a cannon, no accuracy whatsoever, not about to get close enough to shoot anything with a fucking energy cannon or whatever the fuck that was,
(Ari) “It was…”
(Me) “It doesn’t matter what it was! It’s got an energy cannon and drove Crimson into the fucking ground with one shot.”
(Ari) “Do you think Crimson is ok?”
(Me) “Eh, He’ll self repair. Might take him a while to pull himself out of that hole though.”
There’s a rustle of movement in the trees and the Captain quickly spins around and fires off a shot . . . killing a bear like creature . . . and splattering it across the snow and trees.
(Nine) “. . . Eww, that’s gross…”
(Ari) “That leave one bullet…”
(Me) “More like a shell . . .” *checks his com’s sensors again* “Fucksake, doesn’t make sense, didn’t even pick up that bear thing on the sensors.”
(Ari) *checks the Captains com’s* “Well there not broken or anything, they seem to be working right.”
(Nine) “Maybe they aren’t tuned to this dimension? Life signs sometimes show up different.”
(Me) “. . .” *switches the com’s to the calibration mode and lets them reset* “. . . Fucksake.” *turns to Ari* “Remind me to do that again when we get back home.”
(Ari) “Right, what do they say now?”
(Me) “This place is swarming with shit, hard to nail down where it’s all coming from though, I think maybe burrowing creatures under the snow, can’t get a 3D scan of the area for some reason.”
There’s another rustle in the trees and this time the Captain isn’t as fast to react. A massive hulking beast . . . with Seacrest’s head attacks before the Captain can aim a shot, knocking the gun away, causing it to fire off into the distance as it goes flying. The beast then slams the Captain into a tree as the girls run for cover.
(Me) *barely conscious* “Someone’s been conditioning for the majors.”
(Mutant Seacrest) “NOW YOU FINALLY DIE!” *his voice echoed as a high pitched school girl squeal over his own com’s*
The mutant douche takes a swing at the Captain’s head but he drops and rolls out of the way, staggering to his feet and turns to face the mutant again only to be knocked back into the snow.
(Mutant Seacrest) “STAY DOWN SO I CAN KILL YOU!” *pulls out the large energy cannon which was slung over his shoulder and takes aim and fires as the Captain is still trying to recover*
(Me) *throws up his right hand* “POWER BLOCK!”
The Captain’s gold com’s activate instantly and form a gauntlet type device around his hand which somehow catches the energy blast.
(Me) *trying to stay conscious* “Absorb.”
The device seems to short out and the energy ball explodes throwing the Captain backwards.
(Mutant Seacrest) *laughs, with the gay chipmunk echo* “THIS IS SO MUCH FUN! YOU’RE NOTHING WITHOUT A BASEBALL BAT AND A CANNON!”
(Ari) “EAT SHIT YOU BUTTHOLE!”
The mutant turns just in time to get hit in the face with a bolt of lightning, sending him spinning backwards into the ground.
Both Ari and Nine rush over the Captain.
(Ari) “Captain, Captain, are you ok?”
(Me) *still barely conscious, tries to sit up and realizes his holographic disguise broken* “. . .”
The Captains clothes are torn and the exposed parts of his skin seem shredded by the explosion, as well as the various deep scar lines and bruises that don’t want to heal due to his condition.
Both of the girls are frightened at the sight, but that fright quickly turns to concern.
(Nine) “Are you going to be ok?”
(Me) “I . . . don’t know.” *struggling to get up* “Either of you seen my cane?”
(Ari) “I think it flew over that way, I’ll go get it. Stay with him Nine.”
(Me) *trying to get up*
(Nine) “Don’t try to move, we’ll wait for Crimson or somebody else, ok?
(Me) “Nine . . . Did Ari kill that thing?”
(Nine) “I don’t know, she hit him in the face with lightning . . . Why did your arm explode?”
(Me) *shakes off some of the cobwebs in his brain* “I think my hologram interfered with my com's power block / absorb function and it just overloaded.” *checks his com’s, which are already repairing themselves* “That’s my guess at least.”
A our roar comes from behind them as the mutant stands back up, howling in pain, its face burned down to the bone and is now little more than a charred and bloody skull. It instinctively turns towards Ari and starts shambling towards her.
(Nine) “ARI!”
(Ari) *running from the monster* “CAPTAIN HELP!”
(Me) “FUCKSAKE!” *punches his com’s* “WORK YOU PIECE OF SHIT, BREACH CANNON!”
The com’s reconfigure again, forming the breach cannon from the tips of his fingers all the way up to his shoulder, but the power display won’t open, it seems dead and the collectors aren’t activating either.
(Me) “SHIT, Need power!” *starts to get up and starts searching for his swords* “I’m comin Ari, lead that fuck this way!”
(Nine) “WE HAVE TO HELP ARI!” *grabs the Captain’s arm and the breach cannon lights up* “What the…”
(Me) “Shit, that right your part Angeline and Elemental.”
(Nina) “And you need power?” *focuses on the breach cannon and starts to pour her energy into the device*
The power display lights up and the normal power scale starts charging slowly.
(Me) “There we go, keep it up. ARI, STUN HIM OR SOMETHING!”
(Ari) *dodging the now mindless beast* “Oh yeah…” *reaches back as the beast swings at her and connects with a static charge*
The beast falls to its body takes a hit like a stun gun, temporarily shorting out its nervous system and causing all of its muscles to contract.
(Ari) *runs back over to the Captain and Nine* “. . .” *trying to catch her breath* “Can I help?” *puts her hand on the breach cannon and the charge starts building three times faster*
Another roar echoes out through the area, but this time not from the beast in front of them. and its followed by several more as the ground starts to shake.
(Me) “What the fuck?” *hits the side of the breach cannon and a holographic display pops out, showing the scanner and life signs detector* “Oh this is going to suck…”
A dozen mutant chavs crash through the trees near the now recovering Seacrest mutant and they all turn towards the Captain and the girls.
(Ari) “Oh crap!” *starts to feel woozy from the power drain of using her powers and falls to her knees, completely exhausted*
(Me) “Damn, bad timing.” *points the cannon towards the swarm of mutants* “FIRE!”
The blast is little more than 10% power and only seems to burn the monster,
(Me) “Fucksake, I knew this was going to suck…”
(Nine) “Shoot them again!”
(Me) “Out of power, you girls should run while their still stunned, find Crimson. I’ll…”
(Nine) “NO!” *grabs the Captain’s arm again* “One more time!”
There’s a fire in the little girls eyes that is either unyielding bravery and faith or the fear and realization that both her and Ari won’t likely make it back to Crimson with these creatures chasing them.
The third collector on the Captain’s breach cannon pops open and starts spinning, pulling in power.
(Nine) “We can do it Captain, I’m going to do my best for you and my big sister!”
The little girl closes her eyes and she bursts into a blinding light, the breach cannon reacts instantly as she seems to pour herself into the device itself.
The power display hits 100% on 2 of its bars and the Captain looks back up just in time to see the mutants closing in on them fast.
The Captain fires, incinerating everything in front of him for nearly half a mile.
Scene fades.

Day 1
Turns out the Arcust had to make an emergency jump to escape signal range for a swarm of remote activated cloaked mines that had magnetized to the ship, same thing happened on the Black Swan, neither of them caught it in time not to take damage though. all it took was a minor explosion to screw us out of our backup. Good think Thorn and Auma figured out a way to help out. J told me that after they showed up the 3 ships made fairly short work of Seacrest’s cruisers and heavy cruisers. Now if only they would stop fucking cloning and arming these asshole wannabe celebrities . . . Oh well, Clan is settling in on Mular Bay, Naup is happy to have the help and well Lord refuses to call them anything but Dr. Nolan and Dr. Jiang. Nicknames man, they make shit simpler . . . As far as Nine goes…

Scene opens to the Captains kitchen on Orien.
(Me) *smacks his com’s* “What the fuck? Piece of shit com’s!”
The Captain opens up the com’s to run a diagnostic, but instead finds something that shouldn’t be there. An unknown energy signature floating around the com’s internal systems.
(Me) “Ari, you wanna come in here for a minute.”
(Ari) *walks into the kitchen in her PJ’s, looking anything but her normal cheerful self* ”What?”
(Me) *shows her the com’s open display*
(Ari) *instantly perks up* “Is that?”
(Me) *smiles* “Energy based life.”
(Ari) “SHE’S ALIVE!”
(Me) “We should head up to the lab.” *reaches for his cane*
Ari stops the Captain, who is clearly in no shape to be going anywhere.
(Me) “What?”
(Ari) “You’re all beat up . . . I think the lab can come to us today.” *smiles*
Scene fades.

Scene opens up in some sort of command room on the enemy drop ship.
(Nine) “This place is weird.”
(Ari) “I was just thinking the same thing. How do they control this place?”
(Me) “Knowing chavs they probably blurt out whatever their thinking and the ship responds.”
(Crimson) “But there’s no control interface, it’s just a communications center and a hologram that’s probably used for planning.”
(Ari) “I think chavs having a planning room is kind of an oxymoron.”
(Me) “Hence the random blurting of whatever’s on their minds.”
(Crimson) “Is this really a proper generalization of the stereotype?”
(Me) “Ask Akki, he’ll tell you all about chavs. He’s been banned from quite a few cantinas for shooting the ones who just randomly shout ‘BENDER!’ at him.”
(Ari) “I thought he solved the gender glitch in his program?”
(Me) “Akki is a gender glitch, it’s part of his eccentric charm.”
(Ari) *giggles*
(Nine) “I don’t get it?”
(Ari) “You’ll have to meet Akki, he can be kind of a moody cunt sometimes but he’s funny and entertaining.”
(Me) “Hey, I’m probably the only person around here who can get away with calling him a moody cunt! But past that, yeah fairly accurate description.”
(Ari) “I wonder what he’s doing? Haven’t seen him in a while.”
(Me) “Last time we spoke he was telling me how the bastion empire couldn’t have built his tardis because the dimensional tag didn’t match and then I showed him the data we have on the bastion empires planets throughout the dimensions.”
(Ari) “Oh yeah, I remember that, we were messing with the data you brought back from that one planet and found out they lived on like hundreds of planets all over the place, some in other dimensions and some even in different points in time.”
(Nine) “. . . I still have no idea what you guys are talking about.”
(Crimson) “Don’t worry, it’s not overly important. All you need to know is the Captain and Akki usually do things just to mess with the other, and what there referring to is one of those things.”
(Nine) “How so?”
(Me) “Akki can’t stand being wrong, so the possibility of being wrong makes him crazy.”
(Ari) “And that’s why we shared the information with him, to drive him crazy trying to prove himself right.”
(Me) “But honestly it was to get him to research all the info we found because I didn’t feel like doing it myself.”
(Nine) “That sounds really mean . . . but funny.”
(Ari) “I know huh?” *giggles*
(Crimson) “. . . Definitely an exact copy.”
(Me) “Or at least close enough for government work.”
(Crimson) “Government work?”
(Me) “Fucksake, do you really want me to explain it?”
(Crimson) “Should I just assume that you mean that governments do a half assed job and when they’re results come close they consider it close enough?”
(Me) “Best explanation possible!”
(Nine) “You guys are all weird, but this is fun.”
All of the holograms turn on and the drop ship seems to power up.
(Me) “Ari?”
(Ari) “Batteries all came on, the drop ships shields are up. I think we’re being retrieved.”
(Me) “See, not a waste of time!” *pulls a case of beer out of one of Crimson’s hidden compartments and walks out of the drop ships command room*
(Nine) “. . .”
(Crimson) “The Captain relies mostly on luck. And always seems to have an ample supply.”
(Nine) “. . . Ok?”
(Ari) “Drives the other Captains crazy.”
Scene fades.

Scene opens to the bridge on the Black Swan.
(J) “Keep us moving!”
(Sibene) “I wasn’t planning on slowing down.”
The ship slips through an asteroid field with easy, carefully dodging weapons fire as well as all the scattered space debris.
(Chelle) “If we keep this up we’re going to get completely turned around.”
(J) “Well they haven’t called in any more reinforcements far as we can tell so…”
(Vu) “So what? We’re still fucked if we can’t get call in the Arcust.”
(Sibene) “The Captain will think of something. Even if he has to highjack their command ship.”
(Vu) “If that’s really what he’s doing he needs to hurry the fuck up!”
(Chelle) “Hey, we have incoming ships!”
(J) “What? Is that good news or bad news?”
(Chelle) “It’s the Avenger wing from the Arcust, we’re being hailed from their lead ship.”
(Darknaut Wing Commander) *over com’s* “Captain Phoenix are you…”
(J) “Phoenix isn’t on board, just make your report.”
(Darknaut Wing Commander) *over com’s* “Yes Commander, We have returned the Locust to the Arcust as requested, but for some reason the Arcust dimension jumped and we lost contact, before this however Dark0 commanded us to regroup with the Black Swan and assist the High Captain, where is he Commander?”
(J) “Working on taking over the enemies command ship.”
(Darknaut Wing Commander) *over com’s* “We have not encountered anything that would suggest a command vessel. But we trust the High Captain’s judgment. We are at your disposal Tech Commander J.”
(J) “Sweet, spread out and give these guys more shit to chase, keep them busy with the asteroids.”
There is no response over the com's but all of the Avengers break formation to draw the individual enemy cruisers to split up in pursuit.
(Chelle) “Sweet, we can focus on one ship at a time.”
(J) “We’re not taking those things on in this tiny thing.”
(Sibene) “The Black Swan is equipped with superior weaponry, in our previous standoff we were dealing far more damage than the enemy was.”
(Vu) *digging through the compartment under her station* “Yeah, yeah Phoenix built it to be overly powerful for its size, we get it . . . Shit I’m out of vodka! Quick, find is a space bar!”
(Chelle) “What? We’re in the middle of shit Vu!”
(Vu) “Fuck these guys, find me some booze damnit!” *gets up and walks off the bridge* “Seriously! Find a bar, I gotta check the cargo bay.”
The doors close behind her.
(Sibene) “She’s not seriously giving us an order is she?”
(J) “If she is you don’t have to follow it.”
(Chelle) “You know, if we found a bar and stopped it would totally throw off the guys chasing us. Might even lure them into some kind of trap ”
(J) “. . . That’s just insane enough to work.”
(Sibene) “It’s no wonder you never disagree with the Captain, you’re all as crazy as he is.”
(J) “If crazy works, why knock it?”
(Brad) *over com’s* “Hey, is that Vu chick stoned or something?”
(Chelle) *hits the com’s* “No why?”
(Brad) *over com’s* “She just tried to open the reactor to see if Phoenix hid and vodka in it.”
(Chelle) *gives J a dirty look*
(J) “What? I swear I didn’t spike her drink!”
Scene fades.

Day 361
Another day of this shit! At least we got picked up, problem is this place is locked up tight, I’m guessing the space chavs are just grunts and they lock them in the drop ship like it’s their barracks. Which makes sense and explain why this fucking thing smells like body odor and month old socks . . . also explains why there’s so many fucking ball caps laying around. Why do chavs and douche bags have to have so much in common? I guess being stupid and annoying is universal. Thank fuck I haven’t had to hear one of those fucking dude bro conversations this whole trip, granted if I had to sit through one I probably wouldn’t understand it, chavs not able to speak English and all. it’s always awesome when people can’t even speak the only language they know.

Scene opens at the main hatch to the drop ship.
(Ari) “What are you doing?”
(Me) “Trying to pick the lock on the door.”
(Ari) “But its electronic, and you’re using lock picks.”
(Me) “I know, figure if I can short the system the door will open.”
(Ari) “I could override it.”
(Me) “. . . That just takes all the fun out of it.” *continues working on the door lock*
The little bird on her shoulder squawks loudly.
(Ari) “I don’t know Blacky, it’s weird to me too.”
(Me) “. . . Sibene teaching you more of the phoenix language?”
(Ari) “Yeah, I could cheat and learn the dialect instantly from her brain, but I don’t want to get in the habit of cheating like that.”
(Me) “What’s wrong with cheating?”
(Ari) “Nothing, I just like learning stuff normal sometimes . . . Hey, didn’t you just refuse to cheat to open the door?”
(Me) “That’s different.”
(Ari) “No its not!”
(Me) “No, trust me, it’s different.”
(Ari) “How?”
(Me) “Gotta keep my skills sharp for when I don’t have the option to cheat.”
(Ari) “. . . Hey, how do we know we’re actually on a ship? What if they carry their drop ships like external cargo containers?”
(Me) *stops what he’s doing* “Good point.”
(Ari) “You could phase and look outside?”
(Me) “Yeah wouldn’t that be nice and handy.”
(Ari) “. . . You can’t phase can you? Your getting worse aren’t you?”
(Me) “Sort of . . . I’d been struggling to phase for a while. I can’t handle the strain right now.”
(Ari) “Are you at least keeping the different power bars charged?” *grabs the Captain’s right arm and forces his gold com’s to open up the power readout*
(Me) “Ack! Hey! Knock that off, that shit hurts whenever it turns itself on.”
(Ari) “But it shouldn’t turn off anymore, it’s supposed to be helping you.”
(Me) “I know what it’s supposed to be doing, I read the manual!”
(Ari) “But it’s not turned on? The life support thingy I mean, when did it shut off?”
(Me) “I don’t know, think it was when I was in the metal forest.”
(Ari) “But, if its turned off then you can’t collect energy.”
(Me) “And it can’t wrap itself all around my internal organs! It’s fine, it’ll turn on if I need it.”
(Ari) “But…”
(Me) “We’re docked aren’t we?”
(Ari) “Huh, what?”
(Me) “With the ship that picked us up.”
(Ari) “Yeah, we felt it when we docked or landed or whatever.”
(Me) “Good, go back up to the command room with Nine and see if you can reach out into the command ship and see whether or not were docked or safely inside the ship itself.”
(Ari) “. . . I guess we are on a mission huh? Ok I’ll go do some hacking.” *heads off towards the hall*
(Me) *messes with his com’s* “Why did you turn yourself off?”
Scene switches to the command room.
(Ari) “Ok, now hold my hand and reach out with your mind into the energy on the ship.”
(Nine) *takes Ari’s hand* “Ok, I’ll try.”
(Crimson) “If the two of you can make a connection, try to give us a clear signal so we can hack the system from here.”
(Nine) “But if we’re in control of it with our minds…”
(Ari) “Concentrate.”
(Crimson) “Yes, concentrate on the task . . . and not staying in their system for too long means they can’t trace you and try to ground you.”
(Ari) “Crimson they can only ground us if were physically in the system. They can’t block our mental machine hack like that.”
(Crimson) “As far as you know at least. Just link up the com’s systems here and we’ll run a digital hack.”
(Ari) “Fine!” *concentrates* “There, the main computers establishing a link with all of the drop ships now. we should be able to hide a data hack into the live stream without being detected.”
(Nine) “What? When did we do that?”
(Ari) “Just now.”
(Nine) “I didn’t see or even feel the other computer.”
(Ari) “Sorry, I guess I can only boost my own range with your help and can’t actually take you with me.”
(Nine) “Aw, that’s ok I guess. We’re not totally the same, ya know.” *smiles*
(Crimson) “We have access to their mainframe, pulling up the command ships schematics now.” *opens a com’s channel to the Captain* “Sir, we are in fact inside of a pressurized section of the command ship.”
The sound of a hatch decompressing echoes throughout the ship.
(Crimson) “He must have finished picking the door lock.”
(Ari) “With lock picks.”
(Nine) “But the hatch is an electronic lock?”
(Ari) *shrugs* “I don’t really know how he does it either.”
(Crimson) “I can’t get a crew roster.”
(Ari) “Why does that matter?”
(Crimson) “Wasn’t that one person supposed to be here after the Captain?”
(Ari) “I think that report said he was in the area, the Captain didn’t want me to read it and I only caught a glimpse of it.”
(Nine) “Who are you talking about?”
(Ari) “Oh, um, were not allowed to say some people’s names out loud, it’s like a bad omen and sometimes makes them appear and annoy us.”
(Crimson) “So that’s why the Captain stopped calling enemies by name after season one?”
(Ari) “Yep, got tired of everyone he hated suddenly popping up out of nowhere . . . It was a lot more fun when he did that though, was like a never ending stream of crazy people.”
(Nine) “How is that more fun?”
(Ari) “Oh, it always meant we had something crazy to do so we didn’t have to be bored all the time like we have all season.”
(Nine) “Winter has been that boring?”
(Ari) “No not winter, season 3, we’re in it right now.”
(Nine) “. . . I don’t understand?”
(Ari) “It’s tough to explain, just go with it for now.”
(Crimson) “Good thing Vu isn’t around, she always has a comment when someone references the seasons like that.”
(Nine) “Is it confusing to her too?”
(Crimson) “No, she’s just fairly intolerant to the inside joke.”
Scene switches to some random hallway on the command ship.
(Me) *walking down the hall, cane in hand as if he belongs there*
One of the space chavs walks past and throws him a half-assed sloppy salute, before buggering off down the hall.
(Me) *watched the chav walk out of sight before hitting his com’s* “You guys should just come onboard. Act like you belong here, these fuck-wads won’t notice.”
(Ari) *over com’s* “But wont Crimson look kinda suspicious?”
(Me) “Just have him generate a hologram of one of the fucks we killed back on that planet, no one will know.”
(Ari) *over com’s* “Alright, we’re on our way then.”
(Me) “Good, if anyone asks Crimson can just tell them he’s escorting you two someplace, don’t be specific and tell him to fuck his English up horribly, you know, drop the vowels off the ends of words and completely ignore the second T in any word with two of them and drop the D off the ends of words also.”
(Ari) *over com’s* “Seriously? That’s all it takes to pass as a chav?”
(Me) “That and acting like a douche bag who can’t be arsed to give two fucks . . . I’ll meet you guys in the mess on this deck in 20, I’m going to visit the engine room.”
(Ari) *over com’s* “Alrighty, see you in a bit then.” *closes com’s*
Another chav walks by and doesn’t even bother to salute, but doesn’t raise an eye to the Captain at all to even notice him much less get a clear look at anything but the floor as his ball cap is pulled down and curled up so much it would be a wonder if he could so much as see his own feet as he walks.
(Me) *watches the chav walk out of sight* “Why do all douche bags constantly look like their late for a fucking softball game? Fucksake…”
Scene fades.

Day 363
Is it just me or is time just flying by in crazy bullshit chav land? We hacked the com’s system while we’ve been here and have been keeping tabs on the Black Swan, which is completely evading the enemy cruisers with the help of the Avengers from Arcust. We’ve even sent a few coded messages back and forth. See, I’m setting up a plan. Saying as the Arcust mysteriously dimension jumped and hasn’t made it back I figure a good plan is in order. And honestly, we’re dealing with space chavs, So out witting these morons should take little effort. I mean even the narrator isn’t bothering to give them a explanatory part in this storyline . . . I mean . . . fuck it. you know what I mean. Man I watch too much fucking TV sometimes… I need a beer. “Crimson!” . . . Gotta love instant service!

This year now finishing was a constant test, I pushed myself to the limits and realized I don't have boundaries where I thought I did.
Giving up on music was hard, at first anyway but when I realized I am so much better at words that creating music, things kinda fell into place.
Some things have left a bitter aftertaste in my mouth however, this is mostly not things that have happened to me.
I do not expect to be ill treated and have been a few times, but seeing my friends and family being ill treated is basically a warrent on said persons head.

"It's inhuman and I will never forget" this is something that happened to a friend of mines mother, I shall not go into detials but a death and a hospital are involved.

"Well I'm stuck in waiting for him to call but, looks like I've been bailed on again" - this is something I have heard from a couple of my friends far too often, I cannot stomach this anymore and words will be spoken as a result.

It hasn't all be bad though, alot of good things have happened this year! I've also become adept at triumph over adversity, laughing in the face of sadness and occasionally allowing people to know who I really am.
Next year had better watch out!

( Read more... )

Scene opens to the bridge on the Black Swan.
(J) *walks onto the bridge* “So I hear the bane of your existence is here. I thought you killed that piece of this?”
(Me) “Three times actually.”
(J) “Fuck dude, that guys worse than Sting.”
(Dr. Nolan) “What’s wrong with Sting? That guy’s a great singer…”
(Me) “He’s talking about Sting from Thorn’s group.”
(Dr. Nolan) “Thorn? As in Nightwind? That old blood elf works for you?”
(Me) “Him and Kull . . . and Sting…”
(Dr. Nolan) *laughs* “That crazy little frog use to die about once a week back in the day.”
(Me) “Still does, now they just clone him.”
(Dr. Nolan) “Oh that’s just classic, everyone use to think Thorn kept copies of him around just to screw with people and now he actually does!”
(J) “. . . If you’re coming back with us to work for the D.S.P. full time, I get the feeling you’re going to be assigned to the Knightstar.”
(Dr. Nolan) “That Thorn’s ship?” *laughs again* “That would be fine with me, Him and Kill were always good people to get into trouble with. Though most of the trouble was Thorn’s fault…”
(Me) “Still is.”
(Crimson) “Captain we have reports coming in that one of our Locusts is under attack. There are Avengers in the area from Arcust…”
(Me) “Send them to help for fucksake!”
(J) *checks the data* “Whatever’s firing on the Locust is nearly the size of a Mach 12.”
(Me) “If that’s a full Avenger group it shouldn’t have a problem.”
(J) “Wow, hold on, 3 ships of the same size just dropped out of hyperspace inside the solar system . . . I think they traced the call.”
(Me) ”Not if they just got here in hyperspace, Tell everyone outside to get their asses back to the ship.” *gets up from his chair and kicks open the back panel where a dimensional pocket is holding his coat and swords*
(Dr. Nolan) “That’s handy.”
Both Ari and Nine rush onto the bridge, completely out of breath.
(Ari) “Captain, there’s a landing party already in the village.”
(Me) “What the fuck?”
(Ari)_ “I don’t think they’ve realized it’s a fake, but there looking around.”
(Me) “J, scratch that last one, tell all the non Darknauts out there to get back to the ship, and have the Darknauts play along until they can eliminate these assholes without putting anyone in danger.” *walks off the bridge with his coat and swords*
(Ari) “What was that all about?”
(J) “Ships in the area, we’re getting ready.”
(Ari) “Oh, any word from Arcust?”
(J) “Not direct contact but there’s an Avenger wing out helping one of the Black Swans Locusts so…”
(Ari) “Right, gotcha.”
(Dr. Nolan) “. . . Is it just me or has Phoenix cut way back on his drinking?”
Scene fades.

Day 359
Fucksake its gift day. What the hell is taking Dark0 so fucking long getting that transponder ready? We’re probably going to miss the gift day festivities all together, gotta make up for it I guess. Knew there was a reason I left everything on the Arcust, shit would just be a fucking distraction right now. Fuck great Vu and Chelle are in the holographic tavern still, looks like that’s where I’m headed. 15 or more fucking armed men roaming the fake village and they decide to ignore the com’s call to get back to the fucking ship. Fucksake, fucking legs killing me, how the fuck to you injure the back of your knee? Haven’t even fucking done anything, just stood up and started walking, fucking body’s falling apart on me for fucksake! Hate walking in the show with a fucking cane! . . . this settles it, I’m shooting someone today…

Scene opens to the fake village.
With the Captain making his way to the tavern cane in one hand and his other inside his coat.
None of the armed men Ari mentioned are anywhere in sight and there seems to be a commotion coming from inside the tavern itself.
(Me) “Fucking wonderful…”
As the Captain walks into the tavern he’s greeted by half a dozen gun barrels and a very large man who really needs a shave and possibly to take a shit . . . hard to tell if the man’s constipated or just retarded.
(Group Leader) *In a heavy Chav accent* “oh Are yA?”
Yep definitely retarded…
(Me) *looks up* “. . . You gotta be fucking kidding me? Space Chav's?”
(Group Leader) “R ite’ boys, we goh us on off ose…”
(Me) *quick draws one of his guns and blows the group leaders brains all over the back end of the bar* “Anyone else want to butcher the fuck out of the English language?”
The rest of the men in the bar already have their guns trained on the Captain but none of them are quite sure what to do with a man who just outright killed their leader even though there were 6 guns pointed at him.
(Me) “What’s the matter? Can’t understand English when the person speaking it actually enunciates?”
(Vu) *behind a table* “You butcher the English language more than anyone I know!”
(Me) “THAT’S ONLY IN TEXT DAMNIT!”
The walls all around them flicker and disappear, even the floor drops away though everyone only seems to fall about 6 inches, it’s enough of a shock and distraction for the Captain to drop his cane and pull another gun from his coat. Both Vu and Chelle seem to do about the same as well as the handful of Darknauts who are also no longer disguised by the hologram, and before the space chav’s have any idea what’s going on bullets are flying. They all drop before firing a single shot.
(Vu) *half covered in snow* “Thanks for the fucking warning about turning the hologram off!”
(Me) “Wasn’t me!”
(Chelle) “Sure as hell wasn’t me.”
(Ari) *sticks her head out from around the corner of another building* “Sorry, thought it might help.”
(Me) “Damnit, where’s Crimson?”
(Crimson) *pokes his head around the corner* “Here Captain, I figured you would want me keeping an eye on the girls.”
(Me) “Everyone get you’re asses on the ship, were getting the fuck out of here the second we get the chance.”
A shot comes down through the atmosphere and explodes on one of the holographic buildings.
The force of the explosion knocks everyone back but the holographic generator shields everyone from the full force of the blast.
(Me) *getting up from the snow* “FUCKING MOVE!” *hit’s com’s* “J, get the shields extended over the village, everyone’s coming onboard! Get the fuck off the ground the second the last Darknaut makes it onboard.” *starts off into the woods*
(Vu) “Where the hell are you going?”
(Me) “To find their landing parties ship, Get on the Black Swan and go!”
Everyone seems to run towards the ship as it starts to warm up its engines, blasts from orbit exploding across its shields one after another.
The Captain heads into the woods, following the tracks the landing party made into town, occasionally looking behind himself waiting to see the Black Swan lift off.
Even with the 3 ships in orbit concentrating their fire on the smaller vessel the Black Swan’s shields are far superior compared to most and the ships reactor could keep the shields powered for months under a constant bombardment from space even from a battle group of Mach 12’s.
Finally after what seems like 10 minutes the holographic village disappears and the holographic generators short out as the power is cut and the Black Swan lifts off the ground and transforms from its sea form into the space form, dropping its mast and fin sales and extending its deck cannons for full deployment.
(Me) *standing in awe and the Black Swan starts to return fire*
(Ari) “when did you mix the short barrel with the flare cannon? Those things are loud as hell.”
(Me) “. . .” *looks to his right to see Ari, Nine and Crimson* “What the fuck are you 3 still doing here?”
(Crimson) “Sorry Captain, Ari made a perfectly sound argument for coming with you as backup.”
(Ari) *smiles at the Captain*
(Me) “. . . Fine, but keep close and be ready with that shield.” *turns back to the trail and stats walking again*
(Nine) “. . .” *looks are Ari* “You get your way a lot huh?”
(Ari) “This isn’t really getting my way, it’s more like not leaving any other choice.”
(Nine) “What do you mean?”
(Ari) “The Captain always tells me it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.”
(Me) “I honestly, never should have said that.”
(Crimson) “It would have made my job easier.”
(Me) “You’d still just be my bartender.”
(Crimson) “I know.”
Both the girls giggle.
Scene fades.

Day 360
Shit, these fuckers must have read the D.S.P. handbook, who the fuck else parks this fucking far away from their destination? Son of a bitch… The Black Swan lured them away from the planet, so all we have to do is get onboard their drop ship and make our way back to their command ship. How do I know there’s a fucking command ship? Simple, no one fucking sends a drop ship ahead and then has 3 large ships drop into a system after they landed and doesn’t have a ship out there calling all the shots. Fucksake. Why does everything always turn into a fucking overnight hike? Seriously need to actually get the fucking ships to all carry some form of planetary transportation . . . I should build a space gremlin or a pinto, shit would be hilarious!

Scene opens to the bridge on the Black Swan.
(J) “How are the shields doing?”
(Vu) “Still good, they haven’t even put a dent in the power output.”
(Chelle) “Weapons aren’t draining our power either.”
(Sibene) “Has there been any contact from the planet?”
(Chelle) “Nothing yet, they must have parked that drop ship miles from our own landing sight.”
(J) “I thought we were the only ones who did that?”
(Chelle) “I know, right?”
(Vu) “I have a better question, anyone heard anything from the Arcust?”
(Chelle) “I’ve been checking, There out of range and we don’t have any transponder signal so their still in stealth.”
(J) “and those Avengers that showed up on our grid earlier seemed to snag the Locust and we lost them after that. Still tracking the ship that attacked the Locust though, it’s headed this way.”
(Sibene) “Have there been any transmissions between the enemy ships?”
(Chelle) “Nothing, if their talking we can’t pin down their signal.”
(J) “Wait, we’re in an alternate universe, could the laws of physics be different here like they can be in dimensional planes?”
(Chelle) “You’re more science guy that any of us are J!”
(J) *hits the com’s* ”Rad, do the dimensional physics work the same here as they…”
(Rad) *over com’s* “I build ships, what exactly do you expect me to know about dimensional physics? And why the hell would physics be different? Gravity, up, down, positive, negative, run a full spectrum scan or something.” *closes the com’s*
(J) “. . . Since when is Rad a dick?”
The ship suddenly shakes violently.
(Vu) “What the fuck was that?”
(Chelle) “We just lots com’s”
(J) “Fuck the com’s we just lost engines.”
(Vu) “NO FUCKING WAY! . . . You guys are so screwed if the shields go down.”
(Chelle) “Oh really and what about…”
(Vu) “I can survive in space remember? So can Sibene. You guys are fucked!”
(J) “. . . bitch.”
(Chelle) “Can’t believe it, every time shit happens, we’re fucked and you’re cool with it.”
(Vu) “Why stress about it? if I die, someone will bring me back and if you die, we’ll just clone you or something. Or maybe get a dog.”
(Sibene) “Shields are holding, but there’s hull damage.”
(J) “You’re right, something exploded under the ship . . . inside the shields? What the fuck? There’s no sensor contact, nothing registered on the exterior of the shields…”
(Chelle) “They dropped something in the water before we left the planet.”
(Vu) “fuckers got us when the shields were down!”
(J) “Well Sibene’s right, the shields are holding, the damage doesn’t look too bad.”
(Sibene) “More ships have entered the area.”
(J) “Fuck, the ship we were tracking just showed up and they brought back up.”
(Sibene) “J are you able to scan the exterior of the ship?”
(J) “What?” *checks* “No, what the hell, did that blast knock part of the sensor grid?” *hits the com’s* “Rad!”
(Rad) *over com’s* “Yeah, yeah I’m on it, lateral grid went down in the blast. I sent that Brad guy down the the lower deck with a scanner to make sure there aren’t any more of those stowaways on the hull. Should be patched in 20, and give the engines another 20 on top of that.”
(J) “Nice.”
(Vu) “And the shields will last that long? It’s your lucky day guys! Brad might be screwed though.”
(Chelle) “No, he’s good. I made sure he wasn’t wearing a red shirt.”
(J) “You do realize that only works in the Star Trek universe right?”
(Chelle) “Yeah, but he’s triple safe, no red shirt, not black or Mexican.”
(Vu) “And his last name isn’t Rodriguez.”
(Sibene) “Was this Star Trek raciest?”
(J) “No, not on purpose at least. But it depends who you ask.”
Scene switches to the inside of an alien drop ship.
(Ari) “I’m never forgiving these people for ruining my gift day.”
(Me) “Don’t worry, I don’t plan on letting them live nearly long enough for you to change your mind.”
(Crimson) “Captain, there doesn’t seem to be any life forms besides us, on the ship. Nothing that’s registering, at least.”
(Nine) “I’ve seen a ship like this before, they use these on the station, or used them I guess.”
(Ari) “The station used them or the people who visited the station did?”
(Nine) “Hmm, I think clients used them. the station didn’t really have its own ships.”
Blacky pokes his head out from Ari’s loose hair and squawks loudly.
(Me) “Fucksake! What the hell is Blacky doing with you? . . . And how the hell does he hide in your hair like that?”
(Ari) “I don’t know, he just kind of blends with my pigtails.”
(Me) “. . . Fucking warn a guy!”
(Crimson) *hands the Captain a beer*
(Me) “Good call.”
The group make it further into the drop ship, which seems to be slightly larger than anything most people would use as a drop ship., in reality it would seem that it was some sort of cargo transport that was converted.
(Ari) “Captain? I don’t think this ship has a bridge or even a cockpit.”
(Me) “That would explain why the hell we can’t find one.”
(Ari) “I think its controlled by remote, but I can’t sense any carrier signal, so maybe it’s turned off. Or the mother ship is out of range?”
(Nine) “So what does that mean?”
(Me) “Means we’re fucked unless we can find an on switch and get this hunk of shit up there.”
(Crimson) “I’m not sure this ship even has an engine, I can’t discern any type of propulsion system whatsoever.”
(Me) “Fucksake . . . Could it be that fucking simple?”
(Ari) “What?”
(Me) “It’s literally a drop ship, they drop this bitch and they air brake this bitch to the surface.”
(Ari) “Then how…”
(Me) “Magnetic tractor beam, they get close and just haul it up with a narrow gravity beam.”
(Ari) “That totally makes sense.”
(Crimson) “Does this mean we’ve wasted our time?”
(Me) “Not even close!” *turns and heads down a hallway*
(Nine) “He’s just saying that right?”
(Crimson) “. . . It’s possible.”
(Ari) “It’s never a waste of time if you learn something in the process.”
(Nine) “So if we learned that this was a waste of time that makes it not a waste of time? That’s just confusing.”
(Ari) “I know, but it makes the Captain feel better about shooting people later.”
(Nine) “Doesn’t missing gift day do that?”
(Ari) “He can just pretend his com’s are all crazy and mixed up the days and be over that. or just drink a half rack of beer.”
(Me) *hollers down from a flight of stairs way down at the end of a hall* “Hey, I found something. Get your asses up here!”
Scene fades.

yup

Scene opens on the shores of a frozen lake, down on some random planet.
(Vu) “Couldn’t we land someplace that wasn’t frozen?”
(Chelle) “What’s Decemberween without a little snow and ice?”
(Vu) “It’s warm, that’s what it fucking is!”
(Chelle) “. . . Not a fan of the snow eh?”
(Vu) “I love the snow, I just don’t see the point to freezing my ass off on some random planet for no apparent reason . . . and what the fuck is up with all the damn equipment?”
(Ari) “Hallow generators.”
(Vu) “What the hell are they for? And don’t say generating holograms!”
(Ari) “I have no idea what the Captain’s plan is for them, but the Darknauts are out collecting wood to build a huge bonfire, so its Bonfire day!”
(Chelle) “Sweet! That means I can kick all your asses at Hockey today too!”
(J) “Damnit! You know I suck at hockey! I’m from Arizona…”
(Chelle) “We know J . . . I’m surprised Lesley isn’t out here. She afraid of the snow or something?”
(J) “No, it’s just warmer on the ship . . . Where’s Brad? Isn’t he your Canadian hockey buddy?”
(Chelle) “He’s with Rad working on something in the engine room, don’t ask me what.”
(Me) *walks out of the ship and across the lake to the shore where the Darknauts are setting up the bonfire along with several hallow generators* “You fuckers ready?”
The Darknauts turn the generators on and a massive grid appears and slowly changes into what looks like an old Norse village. Even the Black Swan changes its appearance from its run down halo-projection to that of an extra large Viking ship, that strangely appears to be mid construction for effect.
(Me) *messes with his PCD and alters his clothing’s appearance to firs and patchwork armor*.”Come on, get in the spirit of things. No one’s going to think anything of this little settlement! Darknauts?”
All of the Darknauts switch on their own PCD’s and all change into random villagers.
(J) “Not that’s fuckin impressive!”
(Me) “Best part is the holographic buildings shielding makes them perfect for indoor fires and shit so it’s like a real village. We just gotta stock the holographic tavern with booze from the ship and we’re set!”
(Chelle) “Phoenix, normally I’m just kissing your ass when I say shit like this but honestly this is pure fucking genius!”
(Ari) “what? You mean all those times when we’re talking you’re just kissing up to me too?”
(Chelle) “Only most of the time when it comes to Phoenix.”
(Ari) “Only most of the time? So when are you telling the truth?”
(Chelle) “That’s my secret, you’ll just have to wonder.” *smiles*
(Ari) “. . . That’s just wrong, lying to a 5 year old.”
(Vu) “Practice for her future kids.”
(Ari) *giggles*
(Chelle) “Hey!”
The massive pile of wood in the center of town if finally lit on fire and the huge column of flame rises about a mile into the air as everyone is driven back from the intense blast of heat.
(J) “Oops, went a little overboard with the lighter fluid…”
(Me) “Damnit J! I told you this isn’t a barbeque!”
(J) “Sorry.”
Scene fades as everyone seems to get in character.

Day 356
I think we managed to shake the tail we had on us. But I can’t be sure. I sent a few Locusts out with dummy transponders and one stealth to meet back up with the Arcust and give them our location. Easier to hang here and let the Arcust come to us. Besides once the transponder they’re building for the jump back home is done we can make the dimension jump from just about anywhere within the closest like 30 solar systems or something. I’m not totally sure what the range is on our dimension jump grid transponders, but I know they cover a pretty big area so I’m really not worried about being out of range . . . Should make it a point to install one of the true dimensional ones on the Arcust and Behemoth. That way we can jump from any alternate dimension on any plane back to our dimensions jump grid. Crap that actually started to make sense. Fuck that shit time for more booze!”

Scene opens to the hollow village.
Inside the tavern.
(Ari) “You know what? This place looks a lot like Ravena’s planet when Me and Pepe went to get the dirt.”
(Chelle) “How’s that?”
(Ari) “Well it looked like an old Norse village like this, only the people all kinda had the features like Ravens, you know how her face is kind of alien looking like old Egyptian statues the humans made of the Orion people who lived there.”
(Chelle) “So Ravena’s people look like Egyptian Orion’s only they dress like Norse people?”
(Ari) “And kind of look like Ra too. like mix them all together and then make them speak some weird Asian Dutch sounding language that totally doesn’t make any sense.”
(Chelle) “if it doesn’t make any sense how did you understand them?”
(Ari) “I don’t know, I think when I touched one of them I read the speech center of their brain and somehow understood how it worked when he started talking.”
(Nine) “How did you do that?”
(Ari) “Electrical impulses control all organic people’s brains, even animals, it’s kind of cool.”
(Chelle) “Nine? When did you come down off the ship?”
(Nine) “Not long ago, I just got use to planet gravity and Dr Nolan said I could come outside.”
(Chelle)”Where is Doctor Nolan anyway?”
(Nine) “Talking to Captain Phoenix in the cargo bay back on the ship.”
(Chelle) “Hmm, I wonder about that guy.”
(Ari) “I wonder why the Captain calls him Clan.”
(Nine) “I think it’s his initials.”
(Ari) “Like C. L. A. N.? Hmm weird, now I wonder what his full name is.”
(Nine) “We can go ask him?”
(Ari) “Good plan!”
The two girls take off towards the door.
(Vu) *walks over to the table and sits down* “Well that’s going to be a fun conversation for Phoenix.”
(Chelle) “Yep, nothing like being interrupted for something completely unimportant.”
(J) “Nothings less important than them talking about what to do with the super death angel Anika clone in the cargo bay.”
(Chelle) “Agreed.”
(Vu) “I don’t even know why the hell he bothered to transport that thing onboard.”
Both Vu and Chelle just stop and look at J, waiting for some brilliant man revelation.
(J) “What? Don’t look at me like that!”
Scene switches to the cargo bay on the Black Swan.
Just as both Ari and Nine come running into the room.
(Ari) “Captain, Captain!”
(Me) *going over some readings from the cloning/stasis pod* “What’s up?”
(Ari) “Is Dr Nolan still down here?”
(Me) “No, we went up to the medical bay, why what’s up?”
(Ari) “We wanted to ask him what Clan stands for. Nine says it’s his initials.”
(Me) “Yeah. Stands for Charles Logan Arthur Nolan, Back on the Chromatic world everyone just called him Clan, though mostly because he could shape shift into a host of people, like he was his own clan.”
(Ari) “Ooo, so you’ve known him a long time?”
(Me) “Yeah, he’s almost as old as I am somehow, think it’s something to do with some of the dragon DNA he absorbed ages ago or something.” *cracks open a beer* “Why so interested in Clan all of a sudden?”
(Ari) “I don’t know, I don’t think Chelle and the others really trust him.”
(Nine) “They probably don’t trust me either, and that’s probably a good thing.”
(Ari) “What? Why?”
(Nine) “Even Dr Nolan isn’t sure what all they did to me when they made me, what if there’s some weird genetic memory switch in my brain or something?”
(Ari) “I never thought of that.”
(Nine) “Dr. Nolan did, he’s been checking my DNA since I found him.”
(Ari) “Weird.”
(Me) “Not really, Clan had the run of that station for a while. He knew about the experiments going on there, that’s why he tried to warn us when we showed up unannounced. When he noticed some of the things going on there had to do with the DSP and me he made sure to mess with shit when he could find a minute to sneak around.”
(Nine) “Yeah, how did you know that?”
(Me) “Who do you think he works for?”
(Ari) “Oh cool, why didn’t you call him in to help with your medical stuff before then?”
(Me) “Because I forgot where the hell he was. Hard to keep track of all my contacts where their scattered throughout a fuckload of alternate dimensions and universes for fucksake!”
(Dr. Nolan) *walks back into the cargo bay* “Man you’ve got a lot of good candidates working for you . . . I mean…”
(Me) “You meant what you just said.”
Both Ari and Nine look confused.
(Me) “He absorbs DNA.”
(Ari) “Oh right. So does that somehow help with fixing the Captain?”
(Dr. Nolan) “Fixing him? Yeah right, I said I might be able to help with that shit.”
(Me) “I’ve been meaning to ask and I know this whole candidates thing applies, but what the deal with you looking like a burnt gremlin who was in an explosion at a shrink dink factory?”
Again both Ari and Nine look confused.
(Dr. Nolan) “I . . . How do I put this? . . . I took a shot to the head and it kinda scrambled the part of my brain where the humanoid portion of DNA in my memory was stored. As far as I can tell at least. I can’t even make myself look like myself anymore.”
(Me) “And the shrink dink part?”
(Dr. Nolan) “Weirdest shit, you remember my metamorphic armor from the good old Cromatica days? Shit bonded to my skin when that all happened and now I’m stuck looking like some half plastic alien!”
(Me) *hands Dr. Nolan a beer* “That’s fucked up dude.”
Sibene walks into the room and hands the Captain a data pad.
(Me) “What’s this shit?” *reads over the data* “What the fuck? Are you sure this is right?”
(Sibene) *nods*
(Me) “Would you stop being shy and open your mouth? Fucksake woman, I trust these guys.”
(Sibene) “Sorry Captain, I didn’t think it was necessary.”
(Ari) “Sibene, Can Blacky come play in the snow?”
(Sibene) “Sure, but just for a little while. We may be leaving soon.” *starts to lead the girls out of the room, glancing back to see the Captains approval*
(Ari) “Ok, we’ll stay close to the ship then.”
The moment the girls are out of the room.
(Dr. Nolan) “How bad is it?”
(Me) “It’s not so much bad as its annoying.” *hands Dr. Nolan the data pad*
(Dr. Nolan) “. . . Who the fuck Ryan Seacrest?”
Scene fades.

I wonder what would happen if a man wrote an article like this.

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200907/divorce